I think it’s safe to say, if you knew me ten years ago…maybe even five years ago you are probably always on the receiving end of some sort of shock factor when I talk about my faith. Growing up my Dad always said my prayers with me we went to church “every now and then”, both sides of my family were a form of Christian (Catholic/United) and I always knew who “God” was but it was never a huge part of my being.
As I got older I lost my relationship with God and took up a great relationship with “Ego”. I wasted money, chose friendships and relationship’s that fed my head not my soul and I spent a lot of time selfishly concentrating on myself; but not in a soul serving way. I visited different churches in my mid twenties on the search to find where I fit in.
I slowly started to reintegrated God into my life when my twenty one year old cousin passed away and then my grandmother(s) and grandfather(s). I started by talking to my “guardian angels” which evolved into studying “arch angels” then practising connection with “Angel Cards”. It was my therapeutic way to stay connected to my loved ones that I lost. Tonnes of my friends thought I’d gone bonkers, yet as usual, I was firm with my beliefs and it’s what got me through the day; knowing there is spirit after death.
A couple more years went by and some life changing experiences that resulted in deep feelings and I reconnected with God in a much closer manner. A very dear friend of mine invited me to her church and after a couple of attempts at finding excuses I decided to drive the thirty five minute to Springs Church in Calgary and I was immediately connected and blown away. I think I even wore my designer shoes to service. You see, you can still stay in your person and connect. That was the beauty of this church; the Pastor was accepting of all. I think even said, “I don’t care if you came from the bar this morning, we are just happy you are here”…and that resonated. Sometimes I felt like I would light on fire if I walked into a church but deep down, I knew once I started to acknowledge God in my life and repent for the sins I had buried in my heart that I would really start to live again.
I continue to feed my soul and instead of “feeding my ego”, I have learned to accept the part of me that identifies with “beauty” in a different way than some. I enjoy putting on make-up, doing my hair, buying nice shoes and I accept that about me. There is a humble note that beats in my heart that knows why I do these things; but that’s a subject for another day and another time. The growth I feel inside of me tends to flourish when I spend time talking to God, reading parts of the bible, talking with friends or pastors from my church about faith and God. The power of prayer has shown me personal “miracles” in the past year since I have dived heavily into “the word of God”. I remember a time where I didn’t even know what “the word” meant; well newsflash.. it means living by the teachings and practises of Christ. People make mistakes, we are human. But he accepts us in all of his glory (and in all of my designer shoes).
If you are weary to make the step, now is as good of a time as ever to start exploring faith on some level. With the happenings in the world today it seems so many people are starting to turn to Jesus and if this is what it took, well Amen. He will step in and change the outcome of this path we are headed down and if you read the bible, you will know…God wins. It can’t hurt you no matter what you think, but it can hurt you if you don’t think at all.