It’s interesting how in my 37 years on this planet I never felt at home. Do you know when I felt at home? When I was asleep..and dreaming. When I was in the ocean, feet in the sand, sun on my face. When I was in a forest exploring the emerald green and golden bark of the earth’s most magical structures..and when I was in cemeteries..yes cemeteries.
As a young girl, I loved exploring cemeteries everywhere I travelled with my parents. Whether I was driving along the rugged coasts of Newfoundland coming across little wooden tombstones in desolate towns along the sea side or in Nova Scotia or the Maritimes.. I had this connection to the spirits that had passed. Only now do I know why.
I was a “weird” child. The one people laughed at, made fun of, ignored. I often wore flowing skirts and army boots at the age of 8, 9…11. The kinds Gypsies and good witches (healers) of the not so ancient past wore. I made jewellery and often found myself walking rivers and long bodies of water alone, jumping from rock to rock getting lost in nature all alone. Those were the times I felt “home”. The first time I remember encountering a spirit that I let others know about was when I was at my father’s home in PEI. I was sleeping downstairs on the couch at maybe age 17 or 18 (I can’t really recall) and I woke up and saw a man holding a brown liquor bag..you know the kind they drink out of heading upstairs where my toddler sister and baby brother slept with my father and my step-mom. First I froze in fear and then I screamed at the top of my lungs “He’s coming upstairs”. I heard my father jump out of bed, I saw the shadowy figure turn to look my way then with one leg up the stairs, my dad turned on the light and the spirit disappeared. I was told it was a nightmare and to go back to bed.
My innate gift of connection to spirit I kept mainly inside with the odd chat to someone about angels. I encountered other angels all the time and other spirits who presented themselves to let my angel spirit do her work. It was magical and those quiet times inside myself I felt at home. I have forever been happy alone but yearned for “home”… fears of abandonment have heavily held me like a dark storm, and only now I find beauty in the winds. I credit my gifts to my past lives and my guides. I also give a bit of credit to my husband who has allowed me the time and space to explore and develop and learn about my gifts each day; I am sure to him it’s been a bit like living in the twilight zone. Our living room went from Modern Contemporary to plants, meditation pillows, bowls of crystals, incense, earthy smells, containers of live teas and yoga mats…and he only complained once.. otherwise he has allowed me the space to go inward and to take our family along for the ride.
I have completed my Yoga teacher training which was the last piece of the puzzle. I don’t think it was so I could “be a yoga teacher” it was to learn the poses inside and out and how they work with our energy systems; it was to learn how to support others in opening energy centres that need healing. It was to connect with the BEAUTIFUL humans in my class..my sisterhood of gypsies, healers, educators and goddesses. It was to experience was it meant to be still and be in love with the stillness; to open up prone, to explore the doshas, it was to connect with home. Now a days, every day I find my soul connecting with other souls of my past, present and future that literally feel like “home”. You know, the kind of “home” that is a knowing, a comfort, a warm cozy blanket surrounded by the warmth of a fire and the sounds of the wood burning. Scents of the woods and a hot cup of coffee. Souls that I look at and feel us dancing in mid evil times as “mid” goodness beings of powerful healing medicine. I come across people that when I touch them palm to palm I get electric chills down my spine. I find myself watching documentaries on the GAIA channel that talk about the Quantum Field. For the people who have questions…the science is there. The science of placebos related to mind-body-power…related to mind-body-healing. The cellular evolution of what your mind can create whether its illness, pain or freedom. I am encountering soul after soul in this life, in this place, in this frequency and they feel like “home”. I have no fear of sharing these feelings with them…and they understand.
When I look at the sun I feel home. When I look into the eyes of someone else that is a star seed from the same place, lay line or or frequency, I feel home. When I look at my children I feel home, my dogs, I feel home. When I stare into the sky I say thank you for bringing me home. This is a time where YOU GET TO CHOOSE what world you will live in, what frequency. 3D? That of fear based paradigms, a timeline that your body has generated template after template, program after program of. Governed by dismantling systems and fluoride. 4D …where you have awaken but only to the “conspiracy theories”, identifies the fragments that are disrupted in the matrix. This is where you start to question everything and realize there are “glitches” that just don’t make sense. This is where you PURGE. This is where you are lost, confused, looking for support and feeling lost…but awake to the obscurities. Then you have the 5D (and beyond).. this is the state of bliss, love, acceptance and awareness. Where you understand without the chaos the evil can’t be alchemized in the way it needs to be. This is the path where you know and feel the innate wisdom of the universe, acceptance of the gifts and beauty. The part where you don’t put things in your body that will keep you in 3D and 4D frequencies; your diet will change, your friend circle will change, your habits, your demeanour..your world. This is when you will “feel like home”.
I won’t resonate with everyone..and that’s okay. I am challenged daily and still have this innate feeling of comfort deep inside me; this knowing; this connection. I know my purpose, it has finally been elevated from lifetimes of suppression. Lifetime after lifetime I have died because of my gifts; whether it was from condemnation from the village, community, government, other tribes, other races. Lifetime after lifetime I was persecuted because I was scared to speak out, scared to continue to work my magic because of fear, of suppression to be disregarded, laughed at, victimized…Finally I am not afraid. Finally I love myself and all parts of me from all lifetimes and frequencies before the one I am currently living out. For the first time, I am not ashamed of my gifts and like I said with a wise woman I encountered today in a clearing session in a friends home…I have stepped in with my left foot forward. My feminine divine energy. Everything I do encompasses my feminine divine energy. I encourage you if you have read my words this far…step in with your left foot forward; now is your time.
I love you and thank you for bringing me home.