Today was the first mother’s day I woke up without my five year old. Today he woke up to his Grandma, his “Abuela”, to the other most important woman in his young life. I woke up with two of our four children at home; it felt weird. I would be lying if I said I didn’t find myself crying in the car after going to get groceries. Usually on a Sunday we would wake up and attend church, hug our friends, go for coffee or have brunch on special days like today. We would be dressed up, calling friends, visiting and enjoying what Mother’s Day would bring.
I did wake up to kind words and watched online service with my youngest baby and had a beautiful box of Tulips, Macarons, a perfume, beautiful soy candles and home made doughnuts delivered to the house. It was beautiful but not the same.
Today there was a lot of reflection for me. I got to see my five year old as he jumped up and down and handed me a beautiful card, a box of chocolates and a starbucks gift card giggling that “Mommy you won’t have to make your coffee tomorrow morning”. The delight in his eyes to give me a gift was gift enough for today. The heartfelt hug of my fourteen year old brought me instant relief when he strolled out of bed at noon. We did homework together all afternoon. The never ending running around of Silas was what was to be expected. She used cleaning rags to clean with me, hugged me so tight like a koala bear and toddled around the house after me like the mini me she is.
I received so many text messages from friends, business partners, employee, family and even my accountant for heaven’s sakes! That brought an added sense of relief to my day. I couldn’t send my mom flowers because she is in 14 days of quarantine; heck we couldn’t even order them in dinner because of their location everything is shut down. Province to province is dealing with this Health Pandemic so differently; here in Alberta I think we try to keep a sense of normalcy, finding our own solutions, forming our own opinions and that is what keeps Albertan’s strong. I think when you combine the hearty essence of being an East Coaster to the strength of this province..well we become really resilient.
I have literally eaten all of the macarons delivered, drank way to much espresso, re learned grade 8 Algebra with Dom and here I sit. I find solace in my writing. I find expression in this real life diary of being a mom during “The Coco”. It’s tough y’all. It is really really tough. But again we don’t go around speaking of the tough ALL.THE.TIME because we need to share some light as well. It is also exciting; people are awakening. To what? You can form your own answers, but I know what we as a family feel to be true and this is a time of great awakening.
Mother’s Day 2021…I am looking forward to what you bring.