Every night at 2 am I wake up; partially because of the 528 hertz music I am sleeping to, partly because of my 1.5 year old.
It is also the time when the spiritual veil is the thinnest. It’s when I can reflect, take deep breaths, go inward with questions with my guides. I often hear a ringing in my ears, you say ”losing yourself mind”, I say “connecting with the higher frequencies”.
I have found this level of consciousness where it’s the now that matters. I still have my moments of growth in the now but it’s not worry for the future or the past it’s a hiccup in the now frequency, letting it go and moving onto the next now. Today was so busy I didn’t drink enough water, I didn’t meditate I didn’t stretch and my mind feels cloudy, my patience thin. At first I thought this was me going crazy because of my concussion but now I think my spiritual awakening was just happening at the same time and it literally took the life out of me. I went through all levels of pain one earth pain body could manage; you know that intense growl from the pit Of your stomach? The uprising of every trauma you have had? it surfaced. And who did I call? My Step dad and my mom. They supported me like no other.
On the outside I looked ok but on the inside I was numb, confused; a lifeless flower thirsting for water and for care; I had spent so long waiting for other people to care for me and love me I didn’t know how to water and care for myself and it was in these moments of despair I learned. I built myself up while caring for a brand new baby, a toddler, fighting in a battle that wasn’t mine, losing my dream of becoming a lawyer, losing my memory, losing myself … and yet I rose.
I rose in riches through books; through learning to quiet my mind and breathe through the pain, through hours of crying, sea salt baths, lavendar oil and stretching. I found two sisters who cared for me and understood my struggles and they became family (thank you). I lost friends… a lot of them… I lost family… they judge where I have come in my journey and I have gained self.
At night I read; I have lost any connection to television. At night I pray, he has become my bed time saviour. I am lonely … it’s lonely in this state of awakening where no one understands you except ., those who understand you. I meditate to stay in my light; I read to learn (but often forget with my memory loss so I repeat) and I am forever holding a frequency of light for my children to stay as close to Christ consciousness as humanly possible.
If I can evolve from my shadows an demons to come out on the other side of 5G living, trust- anyone can. If you need help, don’t go through it alone. I have not taken the herbal medicines for spiritual awakening, I know I am powerful enough to do it on my own with my own internal medicines so that Is one topic I can’t help you with … but anything else.. sisters.. brothers.. I am hear for you.. I get it. I love you.