I have four children. Three of my children have three different fathers; The other child has two completely different parents than myself. YEP! You heard right! Are you shuttering right now? Maybe laughing? Rolling your eyes? I get it. It’s a shock to your system if you have “been lucky enough” to have one relationship where you have had children and remain happy and in love. I get it if you have managed to get married once and maintain that marriage and have your children with that partner *insert slow clap here*. I get it… if you don’t want any other children because your relationship with your child’s parent has fallen apart and you “don’t want to be that girl”. Well NEWS F*CKING FLASH reader… it’s okay. It’s okay that I have this AMAZING village to raise my children in. It’s okay that I have lived my life this way. It’s okay that I don’t care what the “norms” of society (In the 1950’s) said. Guess what… it’s also okay that I am Christian and this is my life; Until you understand “the bible” and the teachings of each Testament, it’s okay if you think I am a “Hypocrite” for having this type of family; because guess what? You are entitled to your opinion.. and I will remain unbothered
I thought long and hard about writing this content. I know it’s been on some people minds, that smirk of a thought every time they see my family photos or when I talk about “my family”. I know when I was pregnant with Silas, I was terrified of the condemnation of others. I had just gone through a big life change as it was. But, a wise person said to me, “Hey, do you want a big family?”, I said “Yes”. I had actually thought about adopting more kids for a long time. Then that person told me the best thing I have ever heard.. “It is only a thing if you make it a thing and life…is a beautiful thing”. WHOA, what a sigh of relief because Lord knows there was going to be verbal attacks, silent attacks, and spiritual attacks and I needed to be ready. I thought about it for a moment… and I was enlightened by a higher up that told me Silas was going to be an incredible human, a powerful woman that is going to do amazing things for God; that’s when I replied, “No”..and that’s when I started to go to church not just once a month, but every Sunday. This was very early in her becoming. I have this vision of Silas singing Gospel, leading her Church choir and sharing the word of God.. I have this vision that was presented to me when she was barely a heartbeat.
Now with that being said, I have awesome relationships with my children’s Dad’s. One of which I am going to spend the rest of my life with. Have you ever watched “Daddy’s Home”. Lol, we joke because our life is something similar. The men have a silent agreement that we are all here for the kiddos we are raising. As weird as you may find it, this is our everyday blessing. That my children know eachother’s parents, that we can find a way around our differences and make life for these amazing little souls nothing short of amazing. Are there uncomfortable times? Obviously! Times where Ego pops up for some? No doubt. But we look past it. My children don’t “make it a thing” because it’s NOT A THING in our home. We share holidays, presents are exchanged by families for all of the children, it’s kind of a cool thing when we can reach out to a parent when we need support.
The thing is, someone is always going to judge. I say it a lot, “hurt people hurt people”. How about a world in which we just love? Where we accept peoples lives might not “be like yours”. It doesn’t make people “better” or “worse”. It doesn’t make them “more holy than thou”. I think my son’s step mom is the peanut butter to my jam. She get’s him to do things that I certainly can’t (thank you Jenn). I wish all of our little people’s parents love, life and happiness. It’s a cool thing when you can reach out.
If you are going through something and you are “scared of what people will think”, please
don’t be. Look at what we are dealing with today. Pretty much locked in our houses with nothing but our thoughts; Maybe you can take that step and do what makes YOU happy. Don’t worry about the next person; not even if they are a family member. It’s okay to want them to support you, but it’s okay if they don’t. It’s YOUR life. You are going to live with your decisions. I am so happy to have my huge blended family. We have different languages, different cultural backgrounds, different grandparents, different traditions and we incorporate each and every one of them in one way or another. I am thankful that Adrian accepted me for my life when we met; it felt amazing to have someone love me for what I did have…body bags and all 😉
Today, I pray you love yourself to make a decision to make yourself happy. Today I pray you follow your heart for your heart. Block out the hate you hear from others; it is just white noise..and remember it’s hurt people that hurt people. Find a support, we are out there. Earth bound Angels have difficult jobs, we tend to receive a lot of hurt; but we take that and grow from it..so if you do need someone to talk too, please reach out.