January 26th, 2021 and here we are. I am reading articles online that describe how the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) is telling health professionals to stop describing breastfeeding as “natural”: it could lead parents down the path of alternative medicine, home-schooling and becoming anti-vaccination”.
It brought me to bit of a deeper contemplation of what it’s like looking from the “inside-out” or even “the right-side-up”. Have we all been living in a fake paradigm of systems that should have never existed? Governments, Religious Sectors, Health Systems designed to make us sick rather than help make us better. I saw Rick Ross has invested in this Online Health Platform called JetDocs; Their platform boasts information about meditation, eating well, yoga and everything that is meant to help heal the body. From the glass in which I look through, this is “real life”.
We post on all of our social media platforms pictures of the pretty food we eat, the bodies we work hard in, the nice outfits and the smiling faces. I get it. Why would we post the greasy onion rings we’re guilty of eating every day with a small gravy or the piles of laundry that haven’t been folded and put away yet? Nevermind videos of screaming children, arguments with our families or our unwashed hair…that’s “too personal”. BUT it leads me to think about one more step.
READING and LISTENING to what people post. Most often then not I do find an integration of transparency in the written words the sisterhood is writing about. Underneath the pretty photo is a raw statement about their struggle with mental health, the unkept house or domestic violence.
What if we started looking deeper instead of assuming and passing judgement on what we SEE at first sight? What if we dove into the material? The foundations on which the surface is laid upon? Today I had an interesting conversation with a client in one of my cosmic healing sessions and it was about how lonely it can be when people “THINK” you’re “at the top” or how lonely it is when you are viewed as “something” that they perceive. Living in a family of 6 everyday, I still find copious amounts of loneliness in my quiet moments. Don’t get me wrong, I love myself and I value my quiet moments but when our values and views are that “out of ‘the norm'” (and please tell me WHAT the norm is now a days??) it can be a lonely world.
In a session with my coach and the other women full of wisdom that are doing spiritual work with us, we talked about how we enter the quantum field or even in moments of meditation and we “don’t want to come back”. It’s tough some days. It’s tough trying to live your purpose everyday with sovereignty and love and kindness when the “outside” world can be so cold. The world can be cruel and having open centres, open hearts you can become a victim of attacks of all sorts. Yes, yes we are tough skinned, we are born with GRIT those of us who have survived our Dark Night of the Soul but still understanding that everything is projection can leave holes in the body that have to be filled (or disintegrated in the timelines) to refill them with love and strength and all of the things our soul’s really encompass.
When our values have changed because our understanding of the world has changed people fall away. People judge. People call us “crazy” or “conspiracy theorists” to the point we sometimes tone down how we share our truth. It can feel really fucking dark guys when your whole world and being has shifted. I know it’s “home”. I know I have fully awakened to what my job to do here is… but not everyone understands.
Something I have heard a bit has been “you have changed since you started this spiritual journey thing”. This “thing” has been waiting so many lifetimes to evolve. Centuries upon centuries women have been persecuted for their natural and innate medicines. Our powers have been suppressed through systems and systems of what you know as “life” and that’s not what we were meant to do here. I feel the energy of others and there are times I have to step away because the energy transfers to me so quickly that if it’s not of a consciousness that is of a higher frequency that day I don’t have the strength in my being to alchemize it for that person; it becomes lonely but oh so powerful when you step into that power for yourself. This “thing” has allowed me to finally love myself. To take my Angel wings and wrap then around myself and say “thank you for being here, now is your time”.
A lot of us women have been categorized for many years in our lifetime as having different “mental health” issues such as Bipolar Disorder, ADD, ADHD, Psychosis; you name it, I Have heard it from my many sisters who have risen during this time. When in reality we had these “experiences” happening that were a sign of our purpose, our past, our lifetimes of suppressed medicines that needed to reemerge to help society for times like today.
I have also been custom to hearing things like “but you have everything you want”, “your life is so perfect look at it” and even such things like “you, you would take the bus?” Are you kidding me? I grew up on a f*cking bus with a single Dad who worked three jobs. I ate McDonalds and KraftDinner for about 10 years. The looking glass may appear rose coloured to some but I think that’s the point, is not much is what it seems until you dive deeper.
Have you read my words this far? Or just looked at the picture and said something out of judgement? I sit here quietly in my kitchen drinking a cup of Nettle Tea. Five years ago I would be a bottle deep into a nice full bodied Red. I revel in the sound of the waterfall in my living room and my husband reading quietly to the girls at bedtime when five years ago I would revel in the sounds of Lil Wayne and some other obscure music that talks about dope dreams and big titties. Life isn’t always what it seems from the other side of the glass.
My body has been taking a break because there is so much going on in the world and I have noticed that when I give my body a break, my mind needs a break too. I judge myself harshly for that. Am I doing good enough? Am I contributing enough to our families finances? That too is a judgement upon myself. I take other peoples words and impressions and let them integrate into an old paradigm of self worth (or lack there of). Of course what I am doing is good enough. Sharing these intimate words are my medicine for you. Sharing these moments are medicine in itself..for me, for you, for us.
I know times are so intense in the season right now and there are so many theories, paradigms and worlds living in one. I get it. I hope my words are of reverence to you. To keep going. To find the way. To find the simplicities that make you smile in each day, maybe not each moment but at least each day. No one is “perfect” we weren’t meant to be perfect, we were meant to return “home” to our purpose and that is when we will feel whole.
I love you.